Upside Down, All Around, and of Course a New Year

That's it. Later Polarads 2009. What's up Polarads 2010?
They'll be up tomorrow on the site.

Stay classy San Diego.

Just a Glass of Wine

I'm not entirely sure what will come of this. If she sleeps over she might spend the night crying in my arms; we might play Scrabble or just fuck instead. It's sort of 50/25/5/10/5 chance with an additional five percent chance of us just screaming at one another.

I've been wrong before about these things. There was one time I was sure I was going to sleep with this girl so I brought a condom safely concealed in my wallet. I was eight and it stayed there for ten years.

But then again what do I know?

R.A.F

I'm not exactly sure how they met but it involved a leather bomber jacket and a goodbye kiss on the cheek.

His grandfather handed it down to him (the jacket, not the girl.) It was it's inaugural night out. She happened to be interested (the jacket).

They chitchatted, they took each other's photo and then it came time to say their goodbyes.

As it turns out he was never really good(the jacket) at saying goodbye so he kissed her on the cheek or was it the collar of her shirt? Who knows these days? Cheek, nape? They're both the same right?

Whatever.

The Weeds

The motivation to do something profound had somehow escaped his body. It didn't leave a Dear John or waver at the door-- it just left. He got over it somehow. He bought a bottle of soda and a few bags of Dipsy Doodles. Things were fine. He was complacent in his bed, drowning in forgotten movies from his attic.

Before all this he had a few ideas about the world. He had read Fitzgerald and felt like he had knew just how the things actually worked. Motivation comes and goes he thought. It's not a huge loss. He figured there's always Dipsy Doodles, macaroons and soda to keep him busy.

He went along like this for a while. No one seemed to mind or care until he ran into it again at the grocery store. It had been eyeing some frozen peas to make for a rather ornate dinner party. He had a basket full of Baskin Robbins and cold medicine. They didn't say anything at first, until he decided to speak up.

Uh...my hands are sort of full, could you grab some mint chocolate chip?

Sombersaults

He had tried every possible way to make it up to her. Foliculitus is not a serious skin disease, but it just so happened to appear in an incovenient area. He thought it was herpes, he panicked. He skirted the issue of sex on more than one occassion and even went as far as making an excuse to not visit on Valentines Day.

An entire year had passed and they said maybe a handful of words to one another over the phone, but on one blissful summer he brought his camera and a stiff erection to a bonfire party for one of her colleagues. They tiptoed past a few unsuspecting friends and tried to fingerbang their way to happiness. She reluctantly said no, so he instead shot photos of her coworkers. They never spoke again until he found a new girl and some ointment for his rash.

Get YerYaYa's Out

You'd be amazed to see how far a pair of wool socks can get you. I mean I've got all kinds of socks, but wool socks are by far the most exceptional.

I can say this in full confidence because I wear only wool socks. You know the thick kind with the elastic around the ankles to ensure that they won't slip underneath the ball of your foot.
Those are the best. They last forever. The downside is that you're guaranteed to find an infinitesimal amount of dirt and lint latching on for dear life like those skates or whatever their called underneath the bellies of nurse sharks.

As a general rule of thumb: I tend to tiptoe around suspicious carpets and area rugs. And never by any means will you find me walking around my apartment with them on. I might step on cat vomit or spilled beer or something.

I take every precautionary step possible to ensure I get the most out of my wool socks. Lint's not my friend, neither is kitty's breakfast, and when something unfortunate does happen I just wear them over a new pair after I've hand washed them in the sink.

A man's got to have principles right?

Yeah...Merry Christmas.

I do hope you're all rather sauced at this point--I'm sure he was.

Feliz Navidades.