How to Get Wet

Musicians/Artists you should download, steal from, or have sex to:

-Detroit Sex Machines

-Lee Harris

-The Coasters

-The Poets and Rhythm

-The Bowflys

-The Kashmere Stage Band

-The Original Orchestra

-Tommy Mcghee

-Bobby Byrd

-Dyke and the Blazers

-Roy Haynes

-Hank Mobley

-Sonny Rollins

-Johnny Griffin

Edison and the Lightbulb

...party

...party central:

http://www.mediafire.com/?go25rziz5mm




(Don't be a tosser, buy their lp next time they're in town.)

Short Story Sessions

It would have been okay if we had just finished that bottle of wine and said goodbye, but I insisted we dance to the Clash. I wanted it to look like that scene where Mark Ruffalo and Kirsten Dunst dance in their underwear, but I barely made it past her bedroom.

Splitting Seeds

I say this with the upmost certainty: I broke up the happy marriage of a lesbian couple. I know this because she keeps looking at me behind the counter of the deli. It's as if she goes out of her way to make it known that she's looking at me. For example, when she slices the boiled ham, she doesn't even look at the slicer, instead she makes sure that I'm staring at her, and I am.

Now about the part with her being married, well someone told me she was and the rings on her ring finger are evidence enough. I passed math and I can put two and two together; she's married.

In fact I think I saw her partner just yesterday. They were taking break together and I happened to walk by them and she rolled her eyes. I think she was nervous that I'd blow her cover. I didn't.

And as for their break-up, well immediately after seeing them both, her partner abruptly left and walked out. We then resumed our aggressive staring bout.

Sombersaults

He had tried every possible way to make it up to her. Foliculitus is not a serious skin disease, but it just so happened to appear in an incovenient area. He thought it was herpes, he panicked. He skirted the issue of sex on more than one occassion and even went as far as making an excuse to not visit on Valentines Day.

An entire year had passed and they said maybe a handful of words to one another over the phone, but on one blissful summer he brought his camera and a stiff erection to a bonfire party for one of her colleagues. They tiptoed past a few unsuspecting friends and tried to fingerbang their way to happiness. She reluctantly said no, so he instead shot photos of her coworkers. They never spoke again until he found a new girl and some ointment for his rash.

Summer Boners, Pillow Fights & Rubella

Sugar Plums and Gum Drops-2009

Sugar Plums & Gum Drops-2009 from John Sullivan on Vimeo.