Ten Dollar Withdrawal-(The Cove)

You may fondly remember the past due balance of that affair: It's been rolling around my thoughts for quite sometime and because of that man at the bank, I can recall it quite well. His Gallagher-esque appearance and dangly cross earring, was enough for me to remember that you loved to eat tuna before before bed. I can even remember how your hot breath escaped the whiskers of your handlebar moustache as we hit flesh to flesh. Thank you for that trip into the city. Thank you for that movie.

Bunny Ears

You've got quite set on you. Everyone knows this, everyone wants specifically this from you. I don't. I'd rather talk about the weather or how to get rid of stains or spots.

And no I've never imagined spending a life with you. I couldn't imagine disappearing with you either. That's a dull life anyway. I want to dress up and dance. I would rather this than anything else.

Pick five of your favorite records, I'll pick my own. I have a few in mind. I won't tell you them now.

And when we decide which gets played first, your's or mine, I want to forget everyone else and lose my shit with you.

16/2

When we went to the zoo I didn't expect him to try and kiss me. I certainly didn't expect him to take his dick out either. I asked him about his moustache in front of the sea lion tank. We talked a bit about experimental facial hair and how it looks good on boys, then he did it.

He asked me to show him what was beneath my Levi's. I did and as soon as I pulled it out, his tongue was in my mouth. I guess this was a first date.

Dodos

Randy is not an artist, he is an okay bartender who in between chocolatinis and Manhattans, doubles as a trapeze artist. This isn't the nineteen-twenties and circuses aren't in vogue. In fact the general impression of circuses are that they are foul, full of torture and expensive popcorn. Luckily for Randy he doesn't work at those kinds of places. Think of a less expensive Cirque De Soleil full of bartenders and waiters that are infinitely flexible.

I wonder if he can mix a Singapore Sling, while swinging mid-air?

Jicama

I keep telling my mother that it's only temporary. It's inexpensive and quaint. She insists that it'll start that way, then I'll get a temporary job, and pick up an inexpensive habit. Soon I'll find a girl that's quaint and then I'll be there forever.

My mother is probably right. My roommate is recovering from fifteen years of something; I've seen two drug deals go down here: minor transactions (by bicycle of course). There was also a fight. I caught the whole thing while en route to make a fool of myself with an ex-girlfriend. With every punch the white man took the face, he lost an article of clothing. It were as if the other guy were swinging and swatting. Perhaps it was the friction caused by his punches that were enough to unbuckle the man's belt, untie his laces, and pull off his knickers. By the third punch, that poor sap's prick was out and against the pavement.

The children and dogs here are almost one in the same; unattended and unclothed. They do not fear broken glass, garbage or the cold. They are unlike anything I have ever witnessed. They are almost as brave as the addicts and street sweepers.

I don't think my mother knows about any of this. If she did, I'd have four boxes of groceries delivered to my house almost instantaneously. That's how she copes with me living in a seedy neighborhood, she buys me groceries and not necessarily the healthy ones either. It's like I turned six when I moved out. She's keeping me mum with Hawaiian Punches and Cheetos. I'm serious about this.

But if I told her that I thought these groceries were meant for a kindergartner she'd cry. I hate to see her cry over Cheetos. Plus I really do like Cheetos, it's just I'd rather have some avocado first.

Come to think of it, if I told her about my job(s) and love life, she'd really cry. Instead of groceries I'd have shit ton of homemade meals delivered to my door. My landlord would think I was on some kind of Jenny Craig deal. After he'd finish picking out which of the meals he'd like, he'd come upstairs, walk-in on me and my roommate fucking and ask for the rent.

Passion Boys

I'm going to tell you a secret. It's about a boy and another boy. It's also about two girls, and a pair cats, and it's also about you.

I'd tell you in front of everyone else, but then it would be everyone's secret and I want this to be ours.

First the two boys met last week and they have secrets too, but I don't know much about those because those are their's.

That business about the girls well that's not much of a secret at all because everyone know's that they had sex in your room while you were away. The cats were witness to it too and so were a few other people. I just thought I'd be a friend and let you know.

So Let Me Tell You About My Boat

Travel Log-September Ninth, In the Year of our lord, Two Thousand & Nine

The minute I opened my mouth about soy milk, she said something to the effect of, "Would you just shut the fuck up already."

She sent me packing and I ended up on a train with this lady:

(Whatever you do don't ask her about weekly passes, she'll swallow you whole.)

Then I ended up in this bathroom in Trenton with signs that looked like this:

Now I'm installing peepholes in the men's room at Kohl's.