Steak & Eggs

We only cook at night when our tempers are mild. Otherwise things get messy. Plates get broken. Feeling's get hurt and people get poisoned.

Ruffled Feathers

Please say those magic words to me,

I wish you were never inside me.

Say them again and with some sting this time.

I regret the day you entered me. I regret our time together.

One more time so that I know that I'm alive.

I'm learning to forget you all over again.

Baby Plates

Hello and welcome to Baby Plates. Please let me take your coat. My name is O'neil and I'll be taking care of you. Is this your first time here?

The tables at Baby Plates are designed to fit a moderately sized seven year old. The silverware is even smaller and so are the plates; they are about the size of a teacup saucer. Baby Plates cuts no corners. Everything that comes out of the kitchen doors is served in micro portions. The salmon dill in a cream sauce over a bed of arugula is no larger than a silver dollar, and the lamb shank risotto is to die for but it's the size of a snow pea.

The prices per plate averages about 325 U.S.D. Baby Plates takes all Major Credit Cards and is now taking reservations for December of 2011.

Guest Check Mixtape

1. Harlem-Beautiful & Very Smart
2. The Muslims-My Flash on You
3.Wire-Three Girl Rhumba
4. Broadcast-I Found the F
5. The Vaselines-Teenage Superstars
6. The Damned-I Feel Alright
7. Harlem-Gay Human Bones

Download this mix for free:
http://www.mediafire.com/?jmnihoniyzn

Dodos

Randy is not an artist, he is an okay bartender who in between chocolatinis and Manhattans, doubles as a trapeze artist. This isn't the nineteen-twenties and circuses aren't in vogue. In fact the general impression of circuses are that they are foul, full of torture and expensive popcorn. Luckily for Randy he doesn't work at those kinds of places. Think of a less expensive Cirque De Soleil full of bartenders and waiters that are infinitely flexible.

I wonder if he can mix a Singapore Sling, while swinging mid-air?

From Underneath an Umbrella, Underneath the Rain.

It was dementia that made me make the trip. My grandmother had a stroke or two and she was in the hospital for good. My aunt is slightly slow--she needed a ride so I picked her up in my van. We had to (illegally) park far--she used a walker to keep her balance. It was also raining sort of hard and I didn't have an umbrella. My aunt couldn't afford to catch a cold so we dodged rain drops by hiding underneath the marquees of the hospital. We were both wet, but I remember I could not stop laughing. It was hilarious. The rain was relentless and we thought we'd keep dry by taking breaks in-between steps to the door.

Our visit to the hospital was short. I always made sure they were. We said hello and goodbye; we were cordial and loving. It was painful to see someone dying. Especially someone that you love.

After a handful of visits we knew what to expect. My mother knew it, I knew it and so did my aunt. So we limited our visits to a good half-hour. We rarely if ever stood a minute later. There was really no need to. She was losing her mind; forgetting who were all the time.

Times up.

After we gave back our visitor badges at the front desk, we were back outside hiding from the rain. It picked up and we were even more soaked than before. By the time we made it back into the van, we realized we were hungry. The nearest diner was two blocks up on Broadway. I didn't want to waste the gas trying to find parking on a Sunday if it were so close, so we decided to take our chances again with the rain.

This time I bought her a cheap umbrella from a deli. It was far too small to cover us both, so I carried it over her and giggled in the rain.

We didn't say much about the hospital visit at lunch: we brought our laughter from the streets and under the marquees into this tiny diner that sold Heinekens with every meal including breakfast. When I excused myself to use the restroom I found enough stuff to fill up two sides of a guest check.

Guest Check

We've worked in bars, restaurants, foofy cafe's, gay bars, pizza parlor/restaurants, Olive Garden; everywhere. It all sucks. It's all same. Trust me.

Check back on Monday for more.











Here's a sneak peak: