Fridays In the Bathroom

My head is killing me, my girlfriend of three years left and went to Tennessee; Saturday will be better. It always is. I just have to keep my mind on the unimportant things like small amounts of drugs, bicycles, and oysters.

I think I made the coffee too strong and I have to grab a train.

Newish Blogs

You Were Loved is a Tumblr blog that celebrates celebrities from the yesteryear. It's updated infrequently, so add it to your Google Reader to check for updates.

Dysfunctional Beginnings is a new blog by Jessica Lipman that allows you to post your own stories about dysfunctional upbringings. It's a very new blog, so get your submissions in before it blows the fuck up. Here's the contact page for more information.

I'm Not an Idiot, I Just Know How to Spell.

I wonder if sleepwalking makes sleeping with someone justifiable in the same way that the right mixture of alcohol, dim lighting, and lonely people do? But then you'd have to explain why you started the car, took money out of the atm, walked into the bar and began flirting.

(As a general rule of thumb, you only flirt with the ones that will most definitely sleep with you. )

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Listen/Download/Buy this:

Burkett St. Conversations

"Have you seen the way he fucking looks at you?"

"Ughh...it's fucking gross."

"Is he retarded?"

"No, I think it's like Autism or something."

"Yeah, that's it. Autism."

"What are we doing tonight?"

"I don't know but if I run into that retard, I'm going to fuck his brains out, and not call him the next day."

"You're great."

"I know."

Be Good to Your Neighbor(s)

Keep in mind how beautiful it is outside. Although it may rain today (it might even snow in about a day or two) this is all temporary. Spring is coming sooner than you think and it'll be time to skate, date and procreate. There will be trips and bike rides, bars and swimming pools (maybe). There's so much to be psyched about, so much to be hopeful for. Enjoy the misery that is winter for now, because I assure you it all be over rather quickly and you'll soon long for the days when you wanted to stay in bed for fear that you may never dig your car out of the snow or cuddle just one hour longer. Au Revoir winter. Adios my friend.

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If you missed my appearance on Jon Dugan's The Big Surprise last week, here's the podcast.

Also be sure to listen to Mr. Dugan's show at 6pm on:

http://hearnewbrunwick.com/group/thebigsurprise

Weekend Reading List

Pick-up these articles of rad so you could have a sick weekend--I know I will.





1. Addressse Unknown- Author Unknown -csothbeg144.wordpress.com

2. Forgotten Grin- Marissa Paternoster - forgottengrin.blogspot.com

3. Carne Asada-Naqeeb Stevens/ John Sullivan - anqbs.tumblr.com

P.S. We're going to be on Hear New Brunswick this Thursday, so if you're interested in everything that's cool, please give it a listen, we'll make you laugh--I swear.

Mixtape: "+2" by Naqeeb Stevens

1. "Swim" - Surfer Blood

2. "Red Ford Radio" - U.S. Girls

3. "For Ex-Lovers Only" - Black Tambourine

4. "Exhibit C" - Jay Electronica

5. "Save Da Trap" - Yo Gotti

6. "Lifted" - Lemonade

7. '81 - Joanna Newsome

8. "Metal On Your Skin" - Emily Reo

9. "Teenage Whore" - Dinosaur Feathers

10. "Janko" - Currency

Download "+2" Here:

http://www.zshare.net/download/72823259c11d799a/

or visit Naqeeb's Tumblr:

http://www.anqbs.tumblr.com

Valentimes

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P.S. Go pick up a copy of Butter Loverz Magazine Issue 2.

It's super rad and super cheap. Click the link on how to get your hands on an issue:

http://butterloverz.wordpress.com/

Edison and the Lightbulb

...party

...party central:

http://www.mediafire.com/?go25rziz5mm




(Don't be a tosser, buy their lp next time they're in town.)

Laura Loves Rocky

The girl across from me is eating from a bag of sunflower seeds. The way she eats them creates this rhythm: the sound of her hand entering the plastic bag; then the sound her lips make as she separates the shell from the nut. There's also the occasional crack from when her teeth break apart the shell, and of course, the sound her larynx makes as she swallows it.

It all sounds long and laborious, but it happens very quick and very succinctly, as if she were a symphony.

16/2

When we went to the zoo I didn't expect him to try and kiss me. I certainly didn't expect him to take his dick out either. I asked him about his moustache in front of the sea lion tank. We talked a bit about experimental facial hair and how it looks good on boys, then he did it.

He asked me to show him what was beneath my Levi's. I did and as soon as I pulled it out, his tongue was in my mouth. I guess this was a first date.

Baby Plates

Hello and welcome to Baby Plates. Please let me take your coat. My name is O'neil and I'll be taking care of you. Is this your first time here?

The tables at Baby Plates are designed to fit a moderately sized seven year old. The silverware is even smaller and so are the plates; they are about the size of a teacup saucer. Baby Plates cuts no corners. Everything that comes out of the kitchen doors is served in micro portions. The salmon dill in a cream sauce over a bed of arugula is no larger than a silver dollar, and the lamb shank risotto is to die for but it's the size of a snow pea.

The prices per plate averages about 325 U.S.D. Baby Plates takes all Major Credit Cards and is now taking reservations for December of 2011.

Short Story Sessions

It would have been okay if we had just finished that bottle of wine and said goodbye, but I insisted we dance to the Clash. I wanted it to look like that scene where Mark Ruffalo and Kirsten Dunst dance in their underwear, but I barely made it past her bedroom.

L.A. Mix Tape: Naqeeb Stevens

1. Warpaint-Beetles
2. Night Control- 20 Years Old
3. Abe Vigoda - Wild Heart
4. Nip$ey Hu$$le -Let's Talk $
5. Dum Dum Girls -Jail La La
6. Best Coast - When I'm With You
7. Nocando- Hurry Up and Wait
8. Nite Control - We Want Our Things
9. Dak - Nuckl


Download his mix for free
http://www.zshare.net/audio/712337660f106524/

or pay him a visit.
http://www.anqb.blogspot.com/

Splitting Seeds

I say this with the upmost certainty: I broke up the happy marriage of a lesbian couple. I know this because she keeps looking at me behind the counter of the deli. It's as if she goes out of her way to make it known that she's looking at me. For example, when she slices the boiled ham, she doesn't even look at the slicer, instead she makes sure that I'm staring at her, and I am.

Now about the part with her being married, well someone told me she was and the rings on her ring finger are evidence enough. I passed math and I can put two and two together; she's married.

In fact I think I saw her partner just yesterday. They were taking break together and I happened to walk by them and she rolled her eyes. I think she was nervous that I'd blow her cover. I didn't.

And as for their break-up, well immediately after seeing them both, her partner abruptly left and walked out. We then resumed our aggressive staring bout.

PolarRads-2010