Saturday, August 8, 2009

Questions That Will Appear on the Application at BlockBuster

So I had a job and got the sack. Now I've got rent to pay and I live with a six foot Brazilian who eats organic.

I could get another loan to pay for my expenses but I'd rather not because a simple 1,000 dollar loan ends up becoming a 2,000 dollar headache.

My original plan upon graduation was to get a job as a porter or deckhand, or something that would appear in a F.Scott Fitzgerald Story, but I ended up getting a video editing job for a company that makes money from other people's miseries.

It was a sort of moving company and my boss didn't understand english all that well, so when he fired me via text it read, "Don't not come to work. Will mail final check."

Aside from the feeling of being sacked, I felt a great sigh of relief: My boss was an idiot and he couldn't form a sentence for the life of him. Not a big deal, but now I've got no job and pile of bills.

(Enter: The Frustration of Having to Apply for Jobs that only require a High School Diploma or G.E.D)

First it was Stop & Shop. It was sort of demeaning. I had to sit at the entrance of the store to fill out an application that had questions like, "In the past three years how many times have you stolen something from your job?"

After a half hour of that, I submitted it and spoke to a guy named John, who said we'll be in touch.

Next it was Blockbuster.

This was by far the worst and the most difficult, because of questions like, "If your friend asks to steal something, even though you know he's not supposed to, do you do it?"

I was in a pinch, so I answered " Yes".

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